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acid trip.I stood holding back tearslike a guillotine against the wall,praying that my heartbreak was a foreign language, thatthis betrayal was a blade beneath my skin, invisible.and in one moment I swearI understood all the pain in the world.I knew why I had let death roostbetween my shoulder blades,I knew why children grieved their tiny petsand buried them in shoe boxes;I understood mothersleaving their children behind at parks,I understood all those skinny boys smokingand holding tight to women who cried,I understood crowds with shaking handstrying to breathe but forgettingand trying to hit that high but missingover and over and over again,I understood why people lied,fell out of love,dyed their hair,cut their skin,hid their tears.suddenly all this sadness that had beenaround me all my life became real,and I hated it,I hated that it was realso I cried for every singlelonely beaten person out thereand it still won't make a difference.and he is a single drum beat,
because i'm like a relapse (of you or youth)baby blues cannot cure suicide agendas.all these poets do is wither, wither,waste - decomposing bones justenough to trade them in forwords & kill themcell bycell &conversations bloom between my tongue &teeth or two choice vertebrae; thoughtsburst like blood vessels,like self disgust(i am more catatonicthan i am catastrophic).
[chrysa(lis]omme)you hauntthis throneand i hover overshards of an echo ithought i had forgotten -now it is i withthe slender w(r)i(s)tsthese seesaw hipsthe hidden twiststhat flicker over thesetight-snapped lipsit is your eyes thatwatch me as i tread along awisteria path, it is your eyesthat burn through me when mystraight back is turned, it isthose eyesthat sparkle with a madnessi'm just now tasting